Nightmares
by GGina8
Summary: We all know that Damon has a dark past, but what happened to him before Katherine? What kind of horrible things did he have to live through? And what happens when these things come back to haunt him? Will Elena be able to help him? Will he let her? Set after 4x03, but before 4x04. Klaus didn't save the hunter.
1. The first time

**AN.: So I began to write a new fic. Please understand that I won't update it too often because right now I have to study a lot and I'm also organizing a new year's party so I have a lot of things to do. This will be different from my other fics so please read the warnings before you continue reading it. I hope you like this mew story! Enjoy!**

**WARNING: The later chapters will contain blood, child abuse, rape. Nothing too graphic, but if it bothers you don't read the later chapters. This chapter though is kind of cute :)**

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It all began a few days after we killed the hunter and Klaus gave me his blood. Damon started to act _strange_.

And not the typical Damon-kind-of strange but the kind of that worried me.

I first noticed it when he took me to hunt and teach me to feed without killing anyone.

He took me out of town to some wild midnight party and there I learnt how to enjoy being a vampire.

Of course reality caught up with me too soon when Stefan called me on the phone asking how things were going. To say that Damon wasn't happy about it would be an understatement.

He became especially grumpy when I came to my senses and told him that I didn't want to become like him and demanded that we went home immediately.

Of course he didn't take me home but instead we went back to the hotel-room he rented earlier and told that we would spend the night there and only after I "calmed down a little bit and had time to think things through" would we go home.

He quickly showered while I was trying to get the blood-soaked clothes off without getting anymore blood on my body and in my hair.

Damon came out of the shower with a single towel around his waist and I felt the lust I felt earlier the night come back with full force.

I took a step towards him, licking my lips.

"You know Elena, I might have even gone along with your current fantasies if you hadn't yelled me barely a few minutes ago about not wanting to be anything like me and that you should be here with Stefan. But right now I think it's best if you take a cold shower and go to sleep, I'll take the couch."

Damon said, motioning towards the bathroom. I shook my head, how can he be such a jerk?

"No, Damon and those aren't _my_ fantasies you are thinking about and I think we can sleep in the same bed like two adults."

In a flash he was in front of me, his lips mere inches from mine. "Are you sure?" For a second all I wanted was to close the gap between us and have mind-bowing-sex till the sun rose, but I shook my head an came to my senses pushing him away and in a blink I was in the shower.

It was an amazing feeling. The water raining down on me felt like it washed away all of my sins and all the inappropriate thoughts about Damon.

By the time I got out of the shower I was totally calm and a small feeling of satisfaction radiated through me.

I had learnt how to feed, didn't kill anyone and my stomach was full. I was ready to lie down and sleep.

Crawling into bed I noticed that Damon was already asleep. He looked so peaceful. I curled up next to him and a few seconds later I was asleep

..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..

I woke up to Damon whimpering and trashing around next to me. He looked like he was having a nightmare.

He was clawing at the sheets, legs twitching, curled under him.

"No, daddy, no, please!" He whimpered again and I noticed tears streaming down his face.

I tried to gently shake him, but he flinched and shied away from my touch.

I quickly crabbed both of his wrists into one of my hands while I put my other palm against his cheek and started rubbing it with my thumb gently and calling his name.

When this didn't seem to work (he only started to whimper some more and tried to wiggle out of my grasp) I slapped him hard, using my vampire strength.

His eyes snapped open and he jumped out of bed, pushing his back against the wall, his face vamped-out hissing like a wild animal. He was shaking.

"Hey, it's okay Damon. It was just a bad dream." I said in a what I assumed to be soothing tone as I slowly neared him, hands stretched out in front of me to show that I meant no harm.

Damon closed his eyes for a second and took a deep, shuddering breath.

"I need to take a shower." he said and the next second he was gone and I could hear the water running.

Half an hour later when he came out of the bathroom he was his normal self again. He was wearing a single towel around his waist and he was smirking at me wiggling his eyebrows.

I didn't bring up his dream until we were in the car.

"So Damon what did you dream about this morning? You seemed pretty shaken-up." Well 'shaken-up' was an understatement, but I was trying to put it lightly.

I saw him flinch and his expression became guarded. "Nothing Elena, it was just a bad dream, I probably ate too many drugged girls yesterday."

I narrowed my eyes. Yeah, sure most probably it was some drugged-blood.

"Yeah, but what did you dream about? It didn't seem like "just a bad dream" to me…. Has anything like this happened to you before? You were trashing around and mumbling…" he hit the brakes and the car came to a screeching halt.

"What did I say?" He asked turning towards me in his seat. He looked angry, panicked and…scared?

When I didn't answer he asked again growling. "Tell me Elena, what did I say in my sleep?"

His hand wrapped around my throat and I began panicking. "Nothing Damon, really the only thing I could make out was "No" your head was buried in the pillow I couldn't understand anything else. What's wrong Damon? Please let go of me! You are scaring me!"

Tears were streaming down my face and he immediately let go of my neck and started driving again.

None of us said anything after that during our drive home. When we stopped in front of our house finally Damon broke the silence.

"I'm sorry Elena, I got carried away. I just… please don't tell Stefan about it!" He looked at me with pleading eyes and I nodded. I wasn't really angry at him, it was me who shouldn't have pushed when he expressed to me that he didn't want to talk about it.

I nodded and kissed him on the cheek. And I got out of the car whispering "Thank you for yesterday".

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**AN.:So there you go guys. Like it, hate it? It would be great if you left me a review! Hugs**


	2. The plan

**AN.: I'm so sorry that it took me so long to update but I twisted my ankle and then there were a lot of school stuff and ski-holiday and on the top of everything I had a writer's block. But I will make it up to you. The next chapter is coming in a few days. :) Hugs**

I the following days I busied myself with school and had girl's nights with Bonnie and Caroline so the next time I saw Damon was a couple of days later.

I drove to the boarding house to talk to him about me feeding in Mystic Falls.

It was Stefan who opened the door and needless to say that he wasn't too happy when I asked if I could talk to Damon.

I hadn't told him about the dirty-dancing with Damon or the fact that we spent the night in the same bed, but I knew he suspected that the night wasn't too innocent between us.

I went up into his room, only to find him on the top of his bed with a mug of coffee in his hands. This was weird since I couldn't remember ever seeing Damon drinking anything else that blood or alcohol.

But the unnerving thing was the rings under his eyes. He looked like he hadn't slept in a few days.

"Hi Damon, is that coffee in your hands?" I asked cheerily.

"Good Morning, Elena. As a matter of fact it is. Why, would you like some?" He offered politely and took a long gulp, his Adam's apple moving up and down, directing my thoughts towards his neck.

It looked delicious. And I was hungry. That had me remember the reason why I came to his room on the first place.

"No thanks, I was just surprised to see you drinking something other than bourbon….I just came to ask you about…feeding. I mean here. In Mystic Falls. I mean this is my hometown and I can't just go around eating people who may be one of my schoolmate's parents or brothers, or whatever."

Damon sighed and rubbed his eyes tiredly. "Haven't we been through this once before? Everyone is someone's uncle or wife or husband. You aren't killing them Elena. You are just feeding on them. No big deal. You just get one of them into and isolated corner than drink and compel. This shouldn't be complicated, though if you want I can show it to you."

He drank the remains of his coffee in one gulp and went to change his T-shirt. I watched with my mouth open as his muscle rippled on his arms and chest.

In a few seconds he was ready to go. I obediently followed him to his car and got in. We had been driving for about 20 minutes with the radio as the only sound when I decided to confront him about how tired he seemed.

"When was the last time you slept?"

Damon not having expected my question snapped his head towards me and raised his eyebrows questioningly.

"Why do you ask?" His tone was even, his expression guarded.

I sighed "You look terribly tired and when I went into your room you were drinking coffee. I've never seen you drink coffee before."

After that he was silent for a long while and I thought he wasn't going to answer at all, but as we were getting out of the car I heard him say "Four days ago."

I was shocked. I knew that since we were vampires we didn't need as much sleep as humans did, but we still needed a good 5-6 hours a day.

In the next few hours we went to find some people to feed from and I have to admit that I was glad that Damon was there.

On our way back home I decided to question him.

"Nightmares again?" He stilled and his face became an emotionless mask. I knew I had hit home.

I gently lay my hand atop his. "If you want to talk about it…."

"No." he shook my hand off his "I'm not a child Elena, I don't need to be babied just because I had some bad nights. I'm totally capable of handling myself!"

He was angry know and pushed his feet down on the accelerator. In a few minutes we were back at the boarding house.

As I got out of the car I immediately went over to Stefan and kissed him a plan already forming in my mind.

"I'll spend the night here if it's okay with you…?" I winked at him and gave him a playful smile. I felt a little bad about using him only to be able to stay over for the night so that I could help his brother, but I had no better plan.

Later in the evening I went into Damon's room with a cup of hot steaming coffee only to find him half-asleep on his bed.

"Hey. I brought you some coffee as a peace offering. I'm sorry if I went too far in the car. I shouldn't have tried to force you to talk about something you clearly didn't want to. And I'm sorry if it felt like I was babying you, it wasn't my intention. I just wanted to help you because I care about you."

I held out the cup of coffee and he gratefully accepted it taking a small sip.

"Hmmmm, thank you Elena. I'm sorry I snapped at you. Sleep deprivations makes me a little edgy sometimes… Now I think you should go before my brother falls in through my door while trying to eavesdrop."

I nodded and exited the room with a smile.

I spent the next few hours in bed with Stefan and after he fell asleep I went to sneak into Damon's room.

There he lay in his bed, sleeping and slightly shaking. He was obviously having a nightmare again.

My plan was working, though I wasn't sure if he was asleep because of the sleeping pills I put into his coffee or he would have fallen asleep anyway.

I sat down onto the end of the bed and tried to enter his mind just like I did when I was compelling people.

Horror stuck me when I saw what he was dreaming about…

**TBC**

I know I left you with a cliffie there mwahahahaha...don't worry next chapter up soon. I hoped you liked this. Did I mention that I like reviews?


	3. The dream

**AN.: So here it is :) It may not be what some of you expected though. Anyway, let me know if you like it or not. And please heed the warnings.**

**WARNING: There will be child abuse and reference to rape in this chapter. If it bothers you you shouldn't continue reading it!**

_The Dream..._

_A black-haired little boy, no more than eight years old was sobbing next to a dying(or probably already dead) woman on a bed._

_Suddenly a man, whom I recognized as Giuseppe Salvatore burst through the door yelling and grabbing the crying boy by his arms, throwing him down some stairs that terribly looked like they led to a creepy basement. _

_And then to my utter shock and horror he started beating the boy, kicking him until he lay unmoving on the floor in a bloody heap. Then everything went dark._

_The next picture was the same boy, slightly older this time in the same basement getting beaten by Giuseppe Salvatore. But this time he was taking it silently. _

_Only when Giuseppe took the whip to his back did he start screaming, while Mr Salvatore was yelling at him how worthless he was and how such demon of a child should have never been born._

_That was when it struck me….demon…DAMON! _

_I couldn't believe that this could have happened, but why would he be dreaming such thing?_

_Next scene was even worse Damon seemed to be in his early teens but this time however he has in his room asleep when he heard his father yell at him to wake up._

_I started to have a really awful feeling about where this was going._

_My fears were confirmed when I saw Giuseppe climb atop Damon's small form in bed and pull down his trousers._

_I couldn't keep watching this._

I exited his mind quickly and I saw him whimpering, crying trashing and begging on the bed. Begging his father to stop.

Then suddenly he started screaming and at full vampire speed I ran back into Stefan's bed. I knew if either of them found me in Damon's room I would have a lot of explaining to do.

But to my surprise neither of them woke up.

For hours Damon kept screaming and Stefan slept peacefully.

And I? I just lay there sobbing and knowing that if I woke Damon he maybe would never forgive me for what I heard.


	4. Sick

**AN.: So here it is :) I know it's short, I'm sorry, but next to school and dance classes I don't have much time for writing, but I'm trying my best. Hopefully this week I will have some time to write the next chapter, but I can't promise you anything. Than you for the reviews. I love you all 3 Enjoy!**

Damon's screams finally stopped around 6 o'clock and I heard him gasp for breath as he woke up. Then I could hear him throwing up and it took all of my willpower not to go to him and comfort him, but I knew that I would do more harm than good. A few minutes later I heard him get into the shower.

Just as I was about to fall asleep from the soft sound of the water running I heard Damon get out of the shower and come towards Stefan's room.

I panicked and tried to look like I had been sleeping all night.

He came into the room and suddenly I felt his fingers gently brush my cheeks. I knew they were covered in salt from my tears and I prayed that Damon didn't notice this.

After a few seconds he pulled away and moments later I heard the engine of his car starting as he drove away – most probably to grab some whores, or a quick snack, or both.

I could have kept speculating for hours about what he was doing, about his dream, its meaning or its cause but I was too tired and I sank into dreamless sleep.

I woke up to the alarm clock with Stefan and we went to school, but I couldn't concentrate at any of the lessons.

My mind was focused on what I witnessed during the night. Something in my gut told me that his mind couldn't have made this up on its own. I had a horrible feeling that it was a memory. But if it was than it meant…

I gasped.

Stefan!

I must have said something aloud because now the whole class was staring at me.

"Is there something wrong, Miss Gilbert?" The teacher asked and I quickly tied to figure out some excuse to be left alone with Stefan.

"I'm fine…I mean I'm not…I'm feeling sick May I have some fresh air? Stefan could accompany me."

"You do look pale my dear. Go ahead and go to see the nurse if you don't get better."

I nodded and stood up along with Stefan. As we exited the classroom I could hear some whispers about going out for a quickie. How I wished that I was.

My mind was spinning with the horrible thoughts and the realization that Damon's dream had been a memory. And knowing that it could have happened to Stefan too was enough to tip me over the edge and send me throwing up in the nearest bush.

Stefan naturally went into full panic-mode.

"Elena, what's wrong? Why did you throw up? I thought you could keep the human blood down, can't you? Did you try to drink from a blood bag again? I'm calling Damon!"

To the elder Salvatore's name I started vomiting again and I couldn't tell Stefan that there was nothing that his brother could do in this situation.

I was still dry-heaving when Damon arrived. The dark rings under his eyes were the silent reminders of his terrible night.

I retched again, but nothing came up. Damon started rubbing my back and giving instructions to Stefan, ordering him to go back to class and tell the teacher that I was sick and telling him that he would take me home.

When my dry-heaves reduced to sobs he lifted me up and put me into his car then he got in too and started the engine.

In a few minutes we were in the boarding house and Damon gently took me upstairs to his room murmuring comforting words all along.

He put me down onto his bed and lay next to me, stroking my cheek.

It took only a few minutes for me to stop crying. Damon lying next to me had me feeling really comfortable and content.

He smiled at me.

"There, there….better now? " I nodded and he opened his arms and I climbed into them, hugging him.

"Hmmmmm… much better."

He loosened his arms around me and I looked into his eyes. Now he looked completely serious.

"I need to know if you had tried to feed on something else than human and could have caused you to throw up in the parking lot."

I looked away. I couldn't lie to him, but I couldn't exactly tell the truth either.

"I….I didn't. I haven't fed since yesterday when you took me hunting."- okay so this wasn't a lie.

"Then there is only one other option: the blood that you drank was poisoned or infected and your newbie vampire body couldn't handle it." He sighed. "Stay here and try to get some rest while I go and find you some good blood."

Damon got up from the bed, but in the door he bumped into a really worried Stefan.

"What's wrong with her? Is she better? What did you do to her?" The last question was more growled than said, but Damon kept his cool.

"Easy baby bro, she is going to be fine. She must have had some bad blood yesterday or something, and that's why I'm leaving to find her someone healthy." I could hear Damon start to make his way towards the door but he was stopped by a really pissed-off Stefan.

"Wasn't it you who was supposed to prevent this from happening? That's why you went with her, so that no harm would come to her. You were supposed to PROTECT HER!" Stefan yelled and I could hear his fist connect with Damon's jaw.

I ran out of the room only to realise that to my horror Stefan managed to get the rise out of Damon and now they were at eachother's throats, growling biting, punching, clawing.

"Stop!" I yelled, but it didn't seem like they heard me.

So I did the one thing that I knew would get a reaction from them.

I cried out like I was in pain clutching my stomach and slowly went down.

And then I heard the sickening sound of bones breaking…

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**Sorry for the cliffie!**


	5. A solution

**AN.: Sorry it took me so long! I just needed some inspiration, but this chapter is super long to compensate you! I really hope you enjoy it :) And thanks for the lovely reviews! **

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After that everything happened really fast.

Damon went down with a painful yell, his arm twisted behind his back in an unnatural angle and Stefan kicked him in the stomach for good measure before he ran to me.

"Elena, you shouldn't be out of bed. Are you hurt? Should I call Matt to feed you?" He tried to pick me up, but I slipped out of his grasp and ran downstairs, lowering myself next to Damon, who was struggling to get up.

"Are you all right, Damon?" He nodded and set the bone in his arm with a wince – it must have hurt a lot.

"I'm fine, but you on the other hand collapsed only seconds ago."

"I ummm… I was faking it to get the two of you to stop fighting." I was already feeling bad about it, as it only served as an advantage for Stefan. Damon seemed to contemplate this than smiled.

"Good. Without it however I would have most probably beaten my little brother to a pulp." He got to his feet and held out his non-broken arm to me. "Come on Elena, I believe both of us could use some fresh blood."

I followed him out to his car, Stefan long forgotten.

Before fastening my seatbelt – old habits die hard – a thought suddenly struck me.

"How is your arm? Should I drive?"

"I'm fine, Elena. Really, it takes a lot more than my baby bro to cause me any lasting damage." With that we drove off into the sunset.

The ride took about 3 hours or so during which we sat in comfortable silence, simply enjoying eachother's presence.

We arrived at a really beautiful white building with perfectly shaped hedge and fountains.

"Wow, had you told me we were coming to such a fancy place I would have dressed up more elegantly."

"Nonsense. It's one of my old friend's house. He keeps a lot of dono… I mean people here. He said I was always welcome."

We entered the house and were greeted by a sandy-blond haired vampire.

"Damon, it's been too long. I see you brought a friend. She is a pretty one." He smiled at me than kissed my hand. I giggled.

"Yes, that she is. Elena, this is Dario, Dario, Elena is my friend, she was turned a few days ago and for some unknown reason she can only sustain on human blood from the vein. No animals or blood-bags. Yesterday however she most probably drank some bad blood and she was very sick. I brought her here to avoid it happening again."

I was quite surprised by how much information Damon was trusting this guy with, but I trusted his judgment in this situation.

"You are at the right place my friend, go ahead and pick someone and after you two had your fill we can do some catching up." Wow, he was pretty enthusiastic about Damon being there.

We went upstairs and there on every door there was a sign that indicated the blood-type, the diet, and the gender of the humans who were inside. I wanted to confront Damon about this, but I felt too thirsty.

I yanked the first door open and caught the closest human, she tasted amazing. I only stopped drinking when I felt her go limp in my arms.

I looked at her with panic, but I found that she opened her eyes a few seconds later, went to a cabinet and put a bandage onto her neck.

I went through the doors and tasted 4 more different humans, the O negative on citrus diet was the tastiest in my opinion.

After feeling completely full I went to find Damon, which proved to be a difficult task. The house was huge with hundreds of different doors and corridors and passages. I was planning on simply giving up the search and going back to the car when I heard him call my name and I managed to locate him.

"There you are, I was worried that you got lost or something." His mood seemed to have improved a lot and I couldn't help smiling. Damon turned towards Dario. "Thank you for the drinks. It was great meeting you again. I hope we can spend some more time together when we next visit, but now we have to go as the young lady has school tomorrow."

"It was a pleasure having you over, and you too Elena. I hope you enjoyed your meal! Come by whenever you feel like it. There is enough blood to both of you."

"Thank you, the blood was really amazing. I hope to see you soon. Bye."

Minutes later we were speeding towards Mystic Falls. I decided that it was time to ask Damon what the hell his friend was doing.

"Would you like to tell me, how comes that he keeps humans as private blood-banks? Like cattle to be slaughtered. Feeding them special food and keeping them in his house compelled." My voice was rising with every word and I was almost screaming the last part.

"Calm down. It's not like he keeps them there against their will. He saved them from starvation and gave them home and food. I don't see how that is bad. And you didn't seem to be against it when you reveled in that tasty female." Damon's voice remained low and he spoke calmly. I considered his words, than nodded. Well, if this guy was helping people this was good.

After a few minutes I dozed off and only woke up when Damon started to carry me into the boarding house.

"Shhhh Elena, go back to sleep." He whispered to me and my eyes involuntarily closed.

When he put me down I realized from the scent that I was in his bed. I wanted to protest, but I was too tired. I slipped back into sleep.

The next morning I woke to Damon gently whispering to me and calling my name. I groaned. The night before, with only 1 hour of sleep, took its toll on me and I was still tired.

"Wake up, Sleepyhead. You are going to be late for school." I pulled the pillow onto my head, Damon chuckled. "Come on. I'm quite positive that Stefan will kill both of us if he finds you sneaking out of my bed when he walks in."

I let out another groan and got out of his bed, I was still in my clothes from the day before and I had no time to go home and change before school. Hopefully no one will notice.

Looking at Damon I was shocked. He looked even worse than the day before. The dark circles under his eyes proved that he didn't sleep again. I knew I had to do something. I decided to try to get some information out of Stefan first, then talk to Meredith.

The school passed in a blur and I was getting more and more anxious about my talk with Stefan. He never told me about it and I didn't want to tear up his old wounds.

After our last class I got him alone in the parking lot.

"Can I ask you something?" He quirked an eyebrow and nodded. I guess he could tell by my mood that this was something serious. I took a deep breath.

"Well I was wondering, since I heard that it was common back then, and you know you lived then, and I just wanted to know if…Did your father use to abuse you as a child?" I stammered it out and Stefan seemed pretty shocked.

"What? Of course not. My father loved me and he would have never laid a hand on me. He was an honorable man. What made you think such thing?" _Only the fact that your brother has dreams about your father abusing and raping him._

"I…I don't know. I just read it somewhere that it was a really common thing back then. Are you sure?" This didn't make any sense. Why would Damon dream about something that never happened?

"Absolutely positive." I nodded whispering a "Good."

He got into the car. "Hey, are you coming?"

"Yeah, but could you drop me off at the hospital? I need to talk about a few things with Meredith. Some biology project and all." I lied smoothly.

"Yeah, sure."

When I entered the hospital I was really glad that I fed the night before. The smell of blood was overwhelming.

I found Meredith at the nurse's desk. "Meredith, could I talk to you?"

She looked at me with a smile. "Of course Elena, it's nice to see you. I trust everything is in order?"  
I could tell that she feared that something dangerous or life-threatening happened, again.

"Yes everything is fine I just need to talk to you about something."

"Sure, go to my office and wait there, I'll be with you as soon as I can."

15 minutes later she joined me in her office, shutting the door behind herself.

"So what is it that you needed to talk about?"

"How much do you know about psychology?" It was logical to ask this first as she would be no use to me if she only knew the basic doctor stuff.

"Well, quite a lot actually. I'm a qualified psychologist. Why do you ask?" I could see that she was getting worried.

"Is it possible that something traumatic happened to two children, but later only one of them remembers it and in comes back to haunt him in his nightmares?" Meredith sighed.

"Which Salvatore is it?" Was I that obvious?

"Damon. He has been having this nightmare for 8 days now. He tries to avoid sleeping when he can, but once I was over he dozed off and I could get into his head. It was horrible, Meredith! And I'm sure that it was a memory! It seemed so real." I realized I was crying, but I didn't care. She came over and hugged me.

"Shhh…I need you to calm down, and then tell me about his dream. I understand Damon doesn't know about asking my help?"

"No. I came to you because I was worried and didn't know anyone else who might be able to help in this." I knew that if it had been for Damon, he would have never asked for help.

"I understand and I will try everything I can to help you, but I'll need to know what you have seen in his dreams." I sat back into my chair and told her the dream. She seemed shocked and by the time I finished I was crying again. She stood up and gave a tissue.

"And you mentioned that Stefan doesn't remember anything like this?" I nodded" I see. It's quite common, especially among children that the brain blocks the traumatic memories in order to protect itself. Though, I don't know how this works with vampires, and the fact that based on what you saw, it continued for years makes me wonder if it happened to Stefan at all. And also there is the possibility that he lied to you."

I realized that Meredith was sure that it was a memory, not some simple nightmare. I trembled inside.

"No, he was really convinced that his father would have never hurt him and he even seemed offended that I thought he would."

"It only leaves us with the conclusion that it was only Damon. "

But if Giuseppe hadn't hurt Stefan, why had he hurt Damon? His firstborn, his heir… or was he? The Salvatore brothers didn't look too much alike and I knew that Stefan took after his father. Was it possible that Damon's father wasn't Giuseppe Salvatore?

"Meredith, is there a way to make a DNA test on a vampire?" She raised her eyebrows.

"Why do you ask?" But then she seemed to catch my train of thought. "You think that Damon isn't Giuseppe Salvatore's son?" I nodded. "I think I may be able to do it, but since they were turned by the same vampire's blood and their diets differ there is little chance that I would get accurate results. What we need now is to focus on helping Damon." She started rummaging through her medical bag.

"What you described is most probably PTSD, _Post Traumatic Stress Disorder_; it could have been triggered by anything that reminded him of his father or what had been done to him. Normally I would suggest therapy, but I'm pretty sure he would never go into that, so that leaves us with the other option: antidepressants." She pulled out a phial with translucent liquid in it. "You will either have to put it into his drink or inject him with it. I have no idea if it will work on him or not, as the only thing that seems to be able to affect vampires is vervain and sunlight, but it's worth a shot."

She handed me the phial and 12 hypodermic needles and syringes. I remembered the last time I had to inject Damon with vervain…not the best day of my life.

"Also, you will need to enter his dreams again and try to see what could have triggered these memories and also what kept him sane and fighting. You see many people simply snap and go insane after something like this and even though Damon is technically a mass-murderer he can't be qualifies as crazy. You will need to look into his dreams and get the whole story. I know it may be hard, but he would never tell you the whole story and if you knew it all he might let you in. You need to get him to talk, he is really strong, but I'm not sure how much more he can take."

I knew that Damon was pretty close to losing himself completely or simply committing suicide, but hearing it from someone else was like a knife through my heart.

"But how do I get him to fall asleep? Even last time, when I got into his head he hadn't slept in 4 days and I even spiked his drink with 6 Xanax tablets, though I don't know if he fell asleep because of it or it just made his dreams a little fuzzy for me."

"Hmmm… interesting that the human drugs might be able to affect vampires, if used in a lot bigger dose. I guess we will have to test this later. As for Damon Xanax may have made his dreams fuzzier as it causes dreamless sleep. I'll give you something that shouldn't have this effect. "She pulled out another phial. "This you should inject into him, preferably intravenously, but a simple muscle would be fine too."

"Okay, I will try. Thank you for your help, I hope I will be able to help him."

"You are welcome, Elena. Contact me, if you need anything. Good Luck with Damon."

We said our goodbyes and I started walking home thinking about how the hell was I going to sedate Damon and get into his dreams again without Stefan noticing it…

* * *

**Oh and I forgot to mention that when Elena says"I remembered the last time I had to inject Damon with vervain…not the best day of my life." she is referring to my other TVD story called Vervain-flu shot :) If you haven't read it I think it's time you did, but it's not necessary to understand this story, there just may be hints later on :) **

**Please let me know what you think about this story or even if it's worth spending my time with writing the update!**


	6. The Nightmare

**AN.: Firstly I would like to say that if I don't update for a week it doesn't mean that I abandoned the story! I'm simply really busy! Secondly, thank you for the reviews! I love you all! I hope you like this chapter! Enjoy!**

**WARNING: This chapter contains child abuse, rape and death (Don't worry I'm not killing Damon so it's not his death) nothing too graphic, but; if it bothers you you shoudn't read this chapter. **

The opportunity presented itself a few days later, when Stefan decided to join Caroline for a two-day-long hunting-trip. They offered me to join them, but I told them that I really didn't want to watch as they drank from innocent bunnies and deer.

I bid them farewell on Saturday morning and decided to set my plan into motion that night. I had been sneaking the antidepressants into Damon's drink three times a day, but it didn't seem to work.

Though we wouldn't have known even if it did, as Damon refused to sleep since the last time I got into his head. I doubted that he knew what I did then, as he surely would have voiced it to me.

After Stefan and Caroline left I stayed at the boarding house and Damon decided that I should try some human food. So we ended up cooking together.

"Elena, has no one taught you how to chop parsley? Give me that knife before you cut off your finger." I laughed and held the knife out of his reach.

"No I won't! And even if I did it would heal in a few hours top." He made a quick grab for the knife, but I expected him to do so and swung it out of his reach. However I miscalculated my strength and ended up throwing it into the kitchen wall.

Damon laughed and retrieved it. "Okay, so you won't harm yourself, but you will harm the wall… poor wall." He rubbed it lovingly and I snickered.

We cooked for hours and when the food was finished, it tasted absolutely amazing. I knew Damon could cook, but I'd never thought he was that good.

We ate in a good mood, joking and smiling. For a few hours I could forget about all of my problems.

After cleaning up and showering I went into Damon's room with my pillow, Flopsy and a blanket.

"Hmmm, if you are planning to spend the night with me, you won't be needing those." he smiled at me, but I could see in his eyes that he was worried – worried that I will find out that he doesn't sleep lately.

"Come on Damon, don't be a jerk. We are having a sleepover!" I lay down next to him onto his bed getting comfortable.

"Ohhh, and I can braid your hair and paint your nails?" He squealed and I laughed.

"Maybe later? I'm really tired." I nuzzled his chest and he took a deep breath, eyes closing.

I started rubbing my hands up and down his arms and I could feel him relax, not suspecting that it was my intention.

As soon as I found the vein I was looking for, I quickly pushed the sedative into it. Damon whimpered.

"Ouch, what was that?" But he really seemed to be half asleep by the time he finished his sentence.

"Shhh, nothing, just sleep." He stiffened trying to get up, but I held him in my arms and started to hum to him.

A few seconds later his breathing evened out and he fell asleep.

I lay him comfortably onto the bed and lay down next to him, holding his hand in mine.

Then I entered his mind.

_This time the picture was clearer and more detailed. And most importantly it was from the beginning._

_Damon, around seven years old in a meadow, talking with a pregnant woman, who I assumed was his mother as she also, had beautiful blue eyes and raven black hair. They were laughing and Damon put his small hands to his mother's big belly, laughing again when the baby kicked. They continued to laugh and enjoy themselves as the picture morphed into a big room._

_It had a big bed in the middle with a sick Damon in it. He didn't look much older than in the last picture though it was hard to tell from his pale sweat covered face._

_His mother didn't look much better even though her belly was flat so I assumed this was after Stefan was born. She seemed weary and also quite pale. It could have been the aftermath of giving birth, but she also could have been sick just like Damon._

_She was running a wet washcloth across his forehead while he whimpered and coughed. For a split second he looked so much like when he was dying from the werewolf bite, I was sure I shed a tear._

_Suddenly the door burst open revealing a really angry Giuseppe Salvatore._

_"What the hell are you doing here? Do you want to die? You could easily catch this disease from him! I almost lost you a few days ago! You are weakened. You shouldn't be here. Get out! I will call a maid to take care of him." _

_Okay this was strange. Because in a way Giuseppe really seemed to be concerned about his wife's health. In his own, anti-Damon way._

_Damon whimpered at the loud noise and covered his head with the blanket. His mother gently removed it and stroked his black curls._

_"I'm feeling much better and he needs his mother now. I'm going to take care of him and I will be fine."_

_Mr. Salvatore left the room grumbling and slammed the door behind him making Damon cringe._

_"Mommy, you shoul' go…"cough "I will be fin', don't wantcha gettin' sick." Little-Damon whispered painfully._

_"Don't worry baby, I won't…now try to get some sleep." She started to hum a lullaby to Damon and the picture slowly faded…_

_The next image was almost the same but the roles were reversed. Damon's mother was now lying on a bed, pale, wheezing and coughing wile little-Damon was on a chair next to her running a wet washcloth across her forehead occasionally. _

_He looked worried and with a good reason. I recognised this seen from the last time I entered his dream. I know that his mother had only a few minutes._

_"Damon…" her voice was barely a whisper. Damon leaned close to her running the washcloth across her forehead._

_"Shhh, sleep mommy, so you will get better." His voice broke and it was obvious that he didn't believe that either._

_"No I won't, Damon baby listen to me… I'm not going to be fine. It's my time to go with the angels to heaven." Tears started to pool in both of their eyes, but Damon seemed to understand that there was no way he could save his mother._

_"I'm sorry…If I hadn't gotten sic-"_

_"No, Damon! Don't say that. None of this was your fault. It is simply my time." Damon hugged his mother's thin form crying._

_"After I'm gone, you will have to take care of your brother. Raise him to become a fine man just like you. Will you promise that you will take care of him?" He nodded into her chest and let out a small sob._

_"I promise. Please don't leave me!"_

_"I'm sorry. I have to. I love you, Damon." Damon could feel her heart beat one last time then it stumbled and stopped._

_He started sobbing then. Crying for her mother not to leave him._

_Eventually his cries drew the attention of his father and he ran into the room angrily, yelling at Damon to stop crying before he wakes his brother._

_It was a split second later when he realised that his wife was dead when he called for the maids and dragged the crying Damon away from his mother's body._

_He threw him down some stairs into the basement and Damon started to cry even more. Then his father started kicking and hitting him._

_"You worthless little bastard! You killed her! You killed your own mother! Are you happy now? You should have never been born…."The words started to mingle and become incomprehensible and I realised horrified that Damon was losing consciousness._

_It morphed into another picture in the same basement, Damon seemed a little older, but no more than 10 years old. His father was beating him again and I could feel that he was fighting to keep quiet. To make his father proud._

_This made my stomach turn and for a split second I wondered that if I threw up while in Damon's head would I also throw up in real life?_

_My thoughts were immediately brought back to the scene in front of me as a whip cracked on Damon's back and he let out a scream. His father kept beating him with it, yelling the same things he yelled at him the night his mother died, until the image started to blur again and Damon most obviously passed out._

_I realised that this must have been the first time his father took the whip to his back. So I was seeing his firsts. _

_The next picture was quite peaceful at the beginning. Damon sleeping in his bed. He seemed to be in his early teens, about 12 or so. I knew where this was going, and I really wished I could simply modify his dream, but I knew I couldn't so I watched._

_I watched ad his father entered the room and climbed atop him. I watched as Damon realising what he was trying to do, tried to fight Giuseppe off. I watched as he failed. And I watched as his father violated him while he was sobbing and begging on his bed._

_This time he didn't pass out into blissful oblivion. No. This time he simply lay there after his father left, naked, bleeding, trembling for hours. As the shock had worn off he started humming to himself and I recognised the melody. It was the lullaby his mother sang to him._

_That must have been it! The memory of his mother, keeping him and always dragging him back from the edge of insanity._

_I knew that I couldn't be sure. I needed more proof. So I had to watch at least one more memory._

_Here we go…_

_In the next memory he was older. About 17 years old and he looked a lot taller and stronger with bigger muscles. I only knew this because his shirt was torn as his father was trying to subdue him. But Damon was stronger than last time and he was fighting back._

_It seemed like he was gaining the upper hand until Giuseppe grabbed hold of the whip and lashed him with it. Damon fell onto the floor as it connected with the back of his knees and his father made sure that he stayed there. He beat him then raped him and to my utter horror he pushed the handle of the whip deep into Damon and left him there. But Damon didn't cry until his father was out of the room._

_Then he curled into a foetal position and hummed the lullaby to himself._

_I prepared to exit his mind as I had the proof and I couldn't keep watching this, but the picture changed again and I found myself eye to eye with Damon._

_"Katherine." He breathed and I didn't know what to do. Was this another memory? Or he started actually dreaming? My question was answered as the dream me, well Katherine stepped forward. _

_"Oh Damon, I missed you. I'm so glad that you won't return to the confederacy." She smirked at him and Damon smiled back, but his happiness was short-lived. _

_"What?" Giuseppe appeared atop the stairs, yelling. "What did she mean that you aren't returning to the army to defend our country?"_

_"Mr Salvatore let me explain myself…" but before he could get out another word his father backhanded him._

_"Miss Pierce, I suggest you leave now and find the company of my finer son, this discussion is not something a fine lady liked you should hear." Katherine left obediently and I found myself trapped into her body._

_A few minutes later however she went to find Damon. She found him with his father in the basement. Damon's wrist and shoulder were clearly dislocated and he was chained up, beaten and bloody while his father was pounding into him._

_Katherine – I gasped and that drew both of their attention. His father stopped and walked towards me._

_"Miss Pierce, let me explain…" In that moment I wasn't bound into that body anymore and I ran towards Damon. He looked at me, eyes full of pain._

_"Katherine?"_

_"No…I'm…" But before I could say anything everything became white. It was like I was in an endless space then suddenly Damon appeared, wearing black T-shirt and jeans, fangs out, snarling._

_"Enjoying the show, Elena?" He asked and in the next moment _I found myself shoved against the wall of his bedroom with his hand wrapped against my throat, snarling at me viciously.

**So a cliffie again! Pleaes review and let me know what you think!**


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